Monday, 20 May 2013

Corner Radiator

Hello, Leroy here. I just wanted to update you all on something that happened to me today. I was walking down't country road, minding my own business and I found a pile of unwanted items that had been “fly tipped”, I think they call it.

So I started to have a nosey through it, and I found a radiator that sempt right enough. Weh’, I say that, it sempt to ‘uv been run over by some careless bloodclot (a mardy bus driver prob’ly) resulting in the radiator been bent in’t middle at a 90 degree angle. Din’t bother me much though, thought it’d no doubt come in useful, so I carried it home, and guess what, I come up with an ingenious invention. The corner radiator! 

It’s flippin’ great. 

You know, it’s all well and good having a radiator along middle of a wall, but you have your furniture, like tables and big stuffed panda eggs, that you want to put there, and’t radiator gets in’t way! 

And what goes in’t corners of rooms anyweh’? I’ll tell you what, nowt! Not until corner radiators take off! 

The only slight problem is that I think a naked mole rat made its home in’t pile of stuff when it were run over. And I din’t realise, but the pink smear on’t back was not a funky paint job. So now every time I turn it on, it’s a smell that I can only describe as smeared, dead, run over mole rat on’t back of the radiator smell. 

Anyweh’, corner radiators, watch this space!

'Portrait of Leroy Craddock' by TONE.

- Leroy Craddock

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